Merry Twelfth Day of Christmas to all. Today is officially the end of the Christmas season. Most of you have already taken down the tree and packed up the decorations. Not in our home! We celebrate Christmas through until the end- the very end!
Two things which I too enjoy- knitting and reading! So I'm linking up Ginny at Small Things for my very first Yarn Along!
I finished this newborn sweater in a wonderful organic cotton. What a wonderful knit. The chunkier yarn worked beautifully to create a cozy little gift.
It was nice to relax and knit while I finished these two very intense reads. Mommy' I'm Still in Here is a mother's journey with her daughter's Bi-Polor Disorder. She writes like your sitting down with her over a cup of coffee. It was so insightful. Then, on to Brain on Fire. Intriguing to think about the doctors being so quick to make a diagnosis to find it something else entirely.
So, I wiped away the tears, pulled myself up by the bootstraps and walked my stubborn self to the rocking chair. Of course, A was right there with me. He had just started instigating his sisters. It was a great way to diffuse the situation and try a new approach.
During our first rocking session he brought up the first time he met us. He asked me if I remembered. He said he wasn't sure if we were the family for him, but once he saw the other children he knew we were. He said he was so happy to have a family.
The next day he gave me a warm hug and said, "Mommy, I love you with all my heart."
On day 3 he started another conversation. He told me he had never been rocked before. Ever.
It is so hard to attach to him. He is usually taking the role of trouble maker. He can sit quietly and contently until another child comes to me. Then he'll need my attention! Most of the time he'll do something he knows is not okay. He'll ask for whatever the other child has- no matter what it is. He doesn't want or need it. He just can't have someone else have something that he is not having. I find it very difficult to find much pleasure with him.
But after just three days of rocking I'm finding that soft spot again. It's funny, when he and his sister first became part of our family I always had in my mind that they came from a bad place. They've seen things I have never seen. They've lived a life I would never wish for anyone to live.
Help him to feel secure- for the very first time.
As difficult as he can be, I need to be reminded of who he is and where he came from. He spent the first 4 years of his life sighting to survive. Those survival strategies and behaviors are still very much alive and kicking in this little guy. I need to remember that and carry on accordingly. Deal with him in a loving way. Help him to heal.
All this in just 3 rocking sessions.
To those about to rock.. be ready for some changes. I can't wait to see where this journey takes us.
I have chosen to join the "Rocking Mama Challenge." I have been following A Bushel and a Peck for a few months now. She has giving me strength, encouragement and resources that I had not realized I so desperately needed. We took her suggestion on taking sabbaticals. That has sent us out in one way and brought us home in another. I love her 50 points of Joy- but I have yet to sit down and write 5. When I read her post on the Rocking Mama Challenge I knew it was time to start listening to the little whispers that I keep ignoring. ( I believe the Holy Spirit whispers to me- and often times I am not listening.)
I actually wept when I read what the challenge was. I wept because I felt so strongly that this is something I really do not want to do. The day is spent disciplining "A" and when it's quiet, the last thing I want to do is sit and rock with him. He has taken up so much of my time already. Time away from my 4 others. Time away from my husband. Forget about a sabbatical- I'm too tired to do anything!
But what if... What if I take just 15 minutes a day for 28 days. What if it helps him to attach? What if it helps me to attach? What if he calms down? Then I would calm down. The entire family might calm down. Perhaps the earth would rotate just a bit slower...
Not much to lose, but so much to gain.
It's worth a try.
I cannot go any further without a Happy Birthday to my special guy. !! Happy Birthday, Jace! 15! My absolute best all time favorite Christmas gift ever! Born on Christmas morning! Named after our Lord and Savior. My little JaCe. You are a special gift!
Not so long ago, as I was browsing through decorating, home and garden blogs, I thought to myself, "I decorate pretty well. I home make nicely. I garden just fine. I should blog. Everyone would be interested in what I have going on over here at the Flying Pig Ranch.
I have a brand new camera and I know a thing or two about English Grammar.
Sure, I can blog.
So I set up an account and begin...and stop.
I cannot get a decent picture of my home looking "blog worthy."
How do these woman do it?? Their houses are amazing.
They even have time to shop, talk fashion, and create amazing things from thrift shop finds.
How do they keep the children out of the pictures?
Here is what my kitchen looks like on any giving evening:
and our Living Room:
and our Laundry Room:
And here is what I was striving for- in my unrealistic "blogger mind."